Hi all,

I know its been quite a few days since my last entry, but truth be told I’ve been pretty tired. Going out for my appointments has been a daily event with me somtimes meeting up to 3 different groups of people a day and its just been exhausting.

And not to mention I stay up until pretty late everyday.

Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy the moments I spend with her online and chatting, laughing and making her laugh. But i’ve been pretty tired and it seems I’ve been neglecting a lot of my other stuff as well.

Things are still pretty great with me and her, though I think its more of like a stable flame than a roaring one now. We’re still getting to know each other, and sometimes we talk about our future which can get pretty far-fetched (for me) yet at the same time so comforting.

I don’t want to turn this into a love blog. That has never been the intention nor idea of me starting a blog. Besides, I’ve been hearing some complaints from some of my friends. Don’t worry, I hear you man!

For my (mostly female) readers, I’ll still be updating about her every now and then though the frequency will most likely drop drastically.

Like I said what we share is so wonderful its really hard to put down and words really does it injustice.

That being said, time for my life updates.

I’ve finally weened myself off the lumbar support that has been my “tank-top” or “undergarment” for the past 2 months, and I look a lot skinnier now.

Couple that with my newfound self esteem and wah lao, I feel unstoppable! (Until I tried to half-run for the last bus which I missed. Lose-lose on both counts =_=)

That being said, I can’t wait until a month from now where I’ll be able to start swimming again. But til then, I’ll be doing a lot of walking. Its good healthy exercise and it does help me to think sometimes.

Yup, that’s all for recent updates. Stay tuned for more

And will probably stay at home for the next 1 month at least.
Feel free to visit… oh yea, should be changing my dressing on tuesday so call/sms before coming~

Will update more tomorrow. Don’t feel like typing too much now..~

Well here I am at last.

I was lucky to get a slot for surgery tomorrow when I went to the hospital yesterday.

Lucky because that person had some financial issues to settle and couldn’t confirm, and was hence pushed to a spot somewhere in February.

I’m beginning to appreciate the power of money as I grow older.. It really does make life a lot easier when you have a lot to spare, but that’s another point for another day.

I will be reporting at NUH Kent Ridge building level 2 tomorrow (220110) at 11:45am. The operation will take place at around 1:30pm. I will most likely be staying 3 nights for observation, before I rest at home for the next 1 month at least.

There are some thoughts that has been lingering in my head since yesterday, like after I posted my operation date on Twitter and Facebook, Samantha called me and told me she’s glad I’ll be going for the operation (I’ll be going for a Discectomy by the way).

Samantha, along with a few other friends with similar conditions, were all against me going for an operation in the beginning. And that was why I was so adamant to try physiotherapy in the beginning.

Different reasons for all though. For Darren the doctor only asked him to do Physio, surgery was never an option (maybe because he was really young then). For Bryan he believed that surgery should be the last option, and it was the same for Samantha.

Come to think of it, I have exhausted all my options. I’ve done physiotherapy, acupuncture and a whole lot of stuff that doesn’t seem to help. But deep down I think its a bit more than that.

I could be wrong, but maybe they just needed someone they know to do the operation so that they themselves will motivated or less afraid to do it.

That could be oversimplifying it a little, but somehow I just get the feeling.

Which leads me to another point - sometimes even though your friends want the best for you and give you advice which works best for them at that time, realise that it may not be the best option for you.

Everyone’s predicament could be similar, but like personalities, being similar doesn’t mean that it is the same (try having two girlfriends with similar characteristics, I assure you it will be different).

And of course, what works for someone else may not work for you. I learnt this the hard way by paying some $900 for 10 sessions with a Chiropractor which left me a lot poorer at the end of it, but not better.

I really appreciate my friends’ advice and encouragement up to this stage. Thank you Darren, Samantha and Bryan especially. It really helped me to know that I am not alone in this. And perhaps more amazingly, how many people around me (friends of friends, children of my parent’s friends, someone’s relative) has this problem.

Another thing I learnt, injury and disease can strike anyone regardless of age. Or maybe the fact that anything can happen to anyone, anytime.

I guess we all really need to take good care of our bodies, especially our backs. How we treat our body will be repaid to us when we’re older… with interest! Its like our own personal bank after all..~

My next entry should be after the operation. Wish me luck, and I’ll see you all soon

P.S (Samantha! If you’re reading this, do try to go for your operation asap! Four areas being affected is no joke. You know that your condition is deteriorating and surgery is your only hope for now. Don’t drag too long okay?)

I must apologize for the lack of entries.

It isn’t that I don’t have the time. Well, other than going out almost everyday, I’m in front of my computer mostly.

Yet these few days the pain has been creeping up on me… It feels like ‘that time’ again, where I was mostly bed-ridden. Well, it’s not that bad exactly, but I can’t sit in front of the computer for long. I think it has something to do with my chair or something…

I also can’t walk for too long, the pain just escalates~

Walked 10+ minutes to Macdonalds at 1+am yesterday, and had to take a short break in between to rest my legs…
Yes, because of that, I spent the most of yesterday and the day before lying on my bed, playing on my phone.

There’s a lot of things I want to do, but I guess its gonna have to go in stages.

For now, I’m going to focus on swimming.
Since sitting, standing and walking makes the pain worse, I need to focus on building my muscles and exercise. Swimming is the perfect activity to do so. Swam on saturday night for a bit, and on monday night. Will be doing it tomorrow morning as well.

Waiting for NUH to call me so that I can see the doctor AND arrange for a date for the Op. I wonder how long that will be though….

Meanwhile, I’ll try to update my blog more frequently, but no guarantees okay? Please support me during this time though… I have a feeling I’ll need it

I can’t sleep.

For the past few days, I haven’t really slept til 6 or 7am in the morning, and waking up feeling tired and sorta lethargic.

My whole body system is out of whack.
I sometimes eat a meal a day, sometimes 3.
Sometimes a lot, sometimes really little.

There are so many things that needs to be done, but I don’t really feel like doing them.
Maybe its my body clock that’s all messed up?

Or maybe its because I’m no longer a student, and I need to start scouting for jobs.

For the past few months I kept rambling about going to China, and then the past few weeks going to Thailand.

But if what I just did was of any concern, I would be staying in SG for the next year at least.

After all, I just queued up for four hours to get my Iphone, and I am now officially contracted to Starhub for the next two years.

Why?

I don’t know when my injury will recover, and I definitely want it to before I go overseas. Ahh, my injury… Sometimes I’m like a normal 20+ year old, and I can walk faster than some people I know. Other times the pain just comes, and I’m forced to walk slower.

And then there are times when I’m forced to sit down altogether. That’s when I get really scared, as I’m brought back to when it first started *shivers*.

I know that I definitely need to start working next year, but what as? Where at? What industry even? Can I make it there? Will I be fine? There are just too many questions that I don’t have the answers to.

As it is, I’m leaving it til 17th Dec (date of MRI scan), and the week after (results of scan) before I make any career decisions. I’m not sure I’m able to take a deskbound job. Sitting for 3 hours at my chair writing the Project Reach entries left me in pain for the next few hours =_=

Argh. It sucks when you don’t know what you want, or you get sidetracked/distracted by other stuff.

Time to clear up my room and do some thinking soon.

Maybe saying that life will return to normal is a joke.

Maybe saying it is just a lot easier than doing it.. yea. That makes more sense.

I realise for the past few days, that I tire easier… I tend to sleep a lot more, and I’m starting to dislike going out. Heh, imagine someone like me saying that… but well. Its the truth.

Sad fact is that I just don’t feel like standing or walking around that much anymore. And considering that the train station is 10 minutes away, it complicates matters.

Perhaps I need to factor in the fact that I haven’t been working for some time, and my savings are dwindling.. transportation also cost quite a pretty penny too. Beh.

Ever since I did the exercises that the specialist recommended, the pain has increased when I’m doing my daily routine.. and again disrupting my life.

Wah lao, I’m getting a bit sian of it all.

I think it has even affected the way I talk to people now. Somehow I feel that I’ve become a bit more .. annoyed or forceful. Or is it just me?

Heh, even in trains I scout for seats like an auntie. I suppose all the seats I’ve given in the past are now coming back to haunt me… or something.

Sigh.. I just don’t know what I’m doing now… since I’m disinterested in the things that used to interest me… I feel like I’m stuck in a black hole…. argh.

Maybe one day I’ll find the way… Sooner than later I hope.

Met up with the rest of the ExCo today at IMM.

They wanted to see me and catch up… so nice of them right?
Originally went to Coffee Club, but realised it was full, and that we had 8 people in total. So walked around and went into Swensens instead.

Frieda and I reached at 4pm, while Bernard, Sweebee and ChoonYong came some 10+ minutes later… followed by Nathaniel, Alfred and TT.

Basically we just shared stories, I updated them a bit about my status, and we just chatted and ate.

Can’t think of a better way to spend the afternoon actually.

Thanks for coming guys & girls! Appreciate it!

Went over to CityVibe Clementi for some Jubeat and L4d afterwards… dang. I swear my reaction time is getting slower.

Went for a very filling meal at Botak Jones clementi, before heading back home again…

I miss my normal life…~